


When You Make Plans, Fate Laughs

by DeiStarr



Series: My Lives As Fate's Chew-Toy [5]
Category: Naruto
Genre: A Drunk Weeping Uchiha Child, A Weeping Uchiha Child, AND SHISUI, Admitting You Have A Problem, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, All The Alcohol, And Cleaning Up After Sarutobi's Mistakes, Asexual Uchiha Sasuke, Asexuality, Asexuality Spectrum, Asperger Syndrome, Awkward Crush, Because Incest Is Not Nice, Because She Can't Admit What's Wrong, CT Is Getting Very Tired Of Defeating Danzo, Danzo What Have You Done, Demisexuality, Drinking to Cope, Edo Tensei, Everyone Is Very Concerned, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/M, Fate Is Laughing At Her, Fugaku Wants To Know Where His Sake Went, Gen, Harry Potter References, He Considers Alcoholism A Valid Coping Skill, He Just Wants Her To Stay Far Away From Itachi, He Needs Alcohol, He Really Would Like To Go Back To Being Dead Now, He Wants More Alcohol, He Was Very Determined, He's Been Resurrected By A Weeping Child, He's Supposed To Be Retired, Inconvenient Romantic Feelings, It's Not Paranoia If They're Really Out To Get You, It's Very Awkward, Itachi Just Wants To Be A Good Big Brother, Life isn't fair, M/M, Mentions of incest, Mikoto Is Concerned, Multi, Neither Is Fate, Not Another Penis, Not Good, Not To Anyone Alive, Not seriously, Now He Knows Why, OC is Uchiha Sasuke, Other, Protective Uchiha Itachi, Reincarnation, Sasuke Doesn't Actually Want Anyone To Die, Sasuke Isn't Drunk Enough For This, Sasuke NO. Just Don't, Sasuke Resents Your Enforced Sobriety, Sasuke Spent His Toddler Years Insisting He Would Grow Up To Be Itachi's Wife, Senju Tobirama Needs a Hug, Sexuality Crisis, So Does Itachi, Talking To Dead People, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, This Was Not What He Signed Up For, Tobirama Does Not Remember Hiruzen Being This Incompetent, Tobirama Is Awkward, Tobirama Is Not Amused, Tobirama Really Wants To Know Where Hiruzen's Been During All This, Tobirama Regrets Everything, Tobirama is so done, Uchiha Itachi Being a Good Brother, Uchiha Itachi Has Issues, Uchiha Itachi Lives, Uchiha Izumi Must Die, Uchiha Massacre, Uchiha Sasuke Has Issues, Uchiha Sasuke Hates Uchiha Izumi, Uchiha Sasuke Is Miserable, Uchiha Sasuke Is Not Okay, Uchiha Sasuke Needs a Hug, Uchiha Shisui Is Very Entertained, Uchiha Shisui Lives, What Do You Mean I Can't Drink My Way Through Childhood, Who Bawls All Over Him And Gets Snot On His Clothes While Ranting About Danzou, Who Has Apparently Gone Mad, because feelings, lots of trigger warnings, no actual incest, so no, talking about issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-05
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:48:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22165114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeiStarr/pseuds/DeiStarr
Summary: In her last life, our OC happily concluded that there would never be a Shinobi-verse where she would not fall in love with and marry Uchiha Itachi.Fate promptly reincarnated her as Uchiha Sasuke.AKA:That Moment When You Realize You've Been Reincarnated As Your Old Lover's Little SiblingOr:In Which Our OC Is Finally Beginning To Come To Terms With Her Place In The Multi-VerseAnd Finally:Uchiha Izumi Must Die
Relationships: (Past) Uchiha Itachi/Original Character, (Past) Uchiha Itachi/Original Female Character, One-sided Uchiha Itachi/Uchiha Sasuke, Uchiha Fugaku/Uchiha Mikoto
Series: My Lives As Fate's Chew-Toy [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1594597
Comments: 9
Kudos: 92
Collections: My Lives As Fate's Chew Toy, Reincarnation and Transmigration, why im sleep deprived 💖✨





	1. Welcome To The World: Realising You're Fate's Chew Toy

**Author's Note:**

> Wherein our OC begrudgingly accepts that she's Fate's Chew Toy, Uchiha Itachi will never be anything but infuriatingly loveable, and she really needs to start getting used to occasionally having a penis. She chooses the name CT (Chewie to her friends... if she ever dares to tell anyone), and ponders the dubious ethics of Orochimaru's body-switching jutsu. Also, is it _really_ incest if you weren't related in your past lives? 
> 
> Does being in love with your older brother still count as incestuous if your current body is asexual? She honestly isn't sure whether that makes her memories of marriage to his alternates more or less awkward. Because really, _ew._
> 
> *******
> 
> This prologue is unfinished; I'm not happy with the rest of it yet, while I'm happy with this bit as is. I'm posting it now due to not being certain of my availability to work on it for the last few and next couple of weeks, and not wanting AO3 to empty my drafts folder before I'm home from the hospital full-time. I can work on the rest later in a notepad; I just don't want to lose my formatting or my tags on here. 
> 
> I added some excerpts to make up for the discrepancy. 
> 
> I should probably note that I haven't entirely made up my mind yet about whether or not the Uchiha will be massacred in this. I have a basic outline for what will happen if it goes either way, though I'm leaning towards exploring the comic potential of keeping them around to witness Sasuke's rapidly deteriorating sanity as he juggles the many, many reincarnation-related issues he's having with trying to save them; and get their reactions to his decision to raise Senju Tobirama from the dead to Fix All The Things. 
> 
> However, I'm also quite tempted to explore Sasuke's reaction to having the massacre happen _anyway_ , so that he can raise Tobirama to go after Danzou afterwards, and make very sure that Hiruzen Wishes He'd Stayed Retired. 
> 
> Either way, he'll make sure that Tobirama Regrets Everything. 
> 
> *******
> 
> While this is largely intended to be a Black Comedy, I do intend to explore a lot of serious themes in it in a serious way. While I freely admit to wanting to write this because I found the premise hilarious, that isn't why I've been working on it ahead of schedule. (At least not entirely.) 
> 
> While I tried to ignore it like I have the other plot bunnies I'm sitting on for this series until I've finished the four stories I already have outlined, I keep getting sidetracked with ideas for this one because it has the potential to be as important to CT's overall character development and growth as it does to be entertaining. 
> 
> While she deals with a lot of major things in each of her lives, there are a few reoccuring issues that keep getting covered with humour and shoved to the side, because there are always more important things to deal with and despite her poor coping skills she's still functional. Despite writing this story to be humorous, I'm hoping to have CT make some serious revelations and come to terms with them in this. Part of this is due to the fact that when she awakens in this life, everything is just "too much" for her to deal with and her coping skills are now hindering more than helping; meaning she's no longer functional. 
> 
> This is why the decision of whether the Uchiha Clan lives or dies in this fic is still up in the air - while stopping the Uchiha massacre is what she's trying to focus on dealing with, it's not actually the point of this fic at all. The point is for her to be forced to face the problems caused by the inappropriate coping skills she keeps using, and to finally begin to deal with them and come up with healthier plans for the future. 
> 
> While I'm intending for it to read a bit like a comedy of errors, it's largely as a way to offset the very serious themes CT's going to be dealing with. The survival of the Uchiha Clan as a whole - while very important to her personally - is completely irrelevant to the true plot. She's going to have to deal with these issues whether or not she saves them - saving them will just make her less likely to admit she needs help, while not saving them will just give her plenty of additional issues. 
> 
> I gave in and started working on it because there's a big gap in character development between the third and fourth stories I had, and I couldn't find a way to bridge it without dragging out either one. This lets me deal with that perfectly. The amusement factor is just a bonus. 
> 
> I listed the various themes I intend to explore in this fic at the end. While not explicitly stated below, Mental Health Issues will also be a feature.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Primarily a character development fic; wherein OC acknowledges herself as FCT for the first time, and is forced to deal with all of the issues she's been ignoring.
> 
> **_Features Explicit Discussion Of Heavy Themes & Adult Issues  
>  Including But Not Limited To:_ **
> 
> Abuse, Child Abuse, Child Soldiers, Torture, Killing, Death, War, Unethical Medical Experimentation, Addiction, Genocide, Incest, etc.
> 
> Attempted to balance with excessive use of very black, macabre, and sometimes irreverent and inappropriate humour; however issues WILL be addressed seriously and resolved to some degree as realistically as possible.  
> 
> 
> Additional/Expanded Trigger List In Story Notes.

**Prologue – Welcome To The World: Realizing You're Fate’s Chew Toy**

**Disclaimer:** _I own neither the world, nor the characters within it, save for any OCs._

***********

My fourth life was as shocking in its own way as the first two had been, despite being as prepared for reincarnation as I could be at that point.

After the details I noticed during my third rebirth resulted in my being better adjusted to my new life at first, I promised myself I would pay as much attention as I could manage during my rebirths from then on. So despite the screaming and the trauma, I was desperately trying to aim my focus towards my environment; straining to absorb as many details as possible in the few seconds I had.

The combined pleased surprised and despairing disappointment of hearing a Konohan dialect pronounce me male almost prevented me from hearing the next words. A voice said, “His name is Uchiha Sasuke.” 

Upon hearing _that_ particular bit of misfortune, my last thought was merely hysterical gibberish.

***********

Despite my initial unhappiness, I was a generally cheerful baby. I was surrounded at all times by people my subconscious considered precious, and I adored them. An infant brain couldn't grasp what could possibly be distressing about being related to people I loved so much, so I felt no distress whatsoever.

My past history with other versions of Itachi aside, I had little to be distressed about. I was much loved; and subconsciously I knew how lucky I was.

Fugaku might not have been the most expressive or demonstrative of fathers, but I knew subconsciously that he treasured his children in his own way.

Mikoto was my idol during my first rebirth, and my love and admiration for her remained steadfast; just as her love and care did for her children.

Itachi was Itachi – my heart, my soul; my joy, and the center of my existence. My one constant; and he was utterly devoted to me. I was his precious otouto; his light, and his reason for fighting. His love and affection for me kept me in a constant state of happiness and contentment.

It would be years before I understood the difference in our devotion to each other. I had no way of knowing then how something that brought me such joy could become the source of such pain.

 ***********

_**Excerpt 1:** _

“What are you up to, little monkey?” Shisui's cheerful voice broke through my childish reverie as I worked intently on creating the _perfect_ flower crown.

My head shot up and I looked around wildly, seeking out my favourite cousin.

“Shisui-nii!” I called out joyfully. “I'm making a bridal wreath!” I lifted my floral headpiece for his perusal with a beaming smile.

“I… see.” His voice sounded oddly strangled, though I was a little too preoccupied to dwell on it. I couldn't help my anxious peering around him, hoping to spot my beloved Nii-san near his friend.

“It's… ah… lovely, Sasuke-chan,” he informed me, lips twitching.

“I'm gonna wear it when I marry Itachi-nii,” I informed him seriously. Shisui abruptly started coughing.

I blinked up at him in concern, noticing his face seemed fairly red, but he waved me off.

“Are you now?” he wheezed. "You plan on marrying Itachi, do you?" 

I nodded decisively. “Yup! When I grow up I'm gonna be Itachi's wife!”

Shisui burst into another coughing fit, and I frowned at him, worried.

“Are you alright, Shisui-nii?”

“Fine, fine,” he chuckled. “But Sasuke, you know you're both boys, right?”

“No, we aren't!” I scowled at him. “I'm _not_ a boy; I'm a girl!”

I nodded firmly. “So I can _so_ be Nii-san's bride!”

Shisui raised his eyebrows. “That's not quite how boys and girls work, Sasuke-chan.”

“But I am a girl!” I burst out. “I _know_ I am!” I sent him my fiercest glare, which only seemed to send him doubling over into another coughing fit.

I crossed my arms. “It's why I don't like baths; my body feels _wrong_ , and when I'm naked I have to see it. But I _am_ a girl.”

Shisui straightened up, a frown greasing his brow. “Wait, really?”

I tipped my head to one side, frowning back at him in confusion. “ _Hai_ ,” I replied.

Itachi suddenly dropped from the tree branches above us, landing in front of me in a graceful crouch.

 _“Aniki!”_ I shrieked, my face lighting up with joy. I threw myself into his arms, and buried my face in his neck as he caught me.

“Otouto,” he murmured. “Or should I call you imouto?”

My head jerked up, and I searched his face frantically for any sign of humour or disapproval. He simply stared back at me with complete sincerity, and I nodded, my throat strangely tight.

He gave me a gentle smile. “I think you make a very pretty girl, imouto,” he informed me.

I _glowed_. 

My proposal was forgotten in light of the revelation of my gender dysphoria. 

***********

_**Excerpt 2:** _

I buried my face in my arms, wrapped around my knees. I wanted to scream so badly that the feeling was choking me. A desperate surge of need rose inside me, and I clenched my eyes tightly.

“I need a drink,” I croaked. “Oh, Kami; I _can't do this_ sober!”

I refused to think about my family. _“Especially not – NO. I won't – I_ can’t _\- I'll go_ mad _!”_

A sob tore its way out of my throat; a broken, wounded noise I tried desperately to smother. I hiccupped miserably, remembering against my will my toddler-self's stubborn conviction that I would grow up to be Itachi's wife.

_Itachi._

A wave of grief flowed through me; so potent it nearly rendered me unconscious. I shuddered, gasping for breath under the force of it.

_"What am I going to do?"_

I wept helplessly, my mind ricocheting between two incomprehensible horrors. The stomach-churning reality of being my lover's otouto was only outweighed by the terror of what had become of the original Sasuke. 

_“How can I live like this?”_  


***********

_**Excerpt 3:** _

Danzo looked around the council chambers, and felt an inexplicable shiver of foreboding. He was unsure what could possibly have caused it – all of his plans appeared to be progressing beautifully, and anyone who entertained any suspicions of him had been swiftly and effectively muzzled.

He frowned; wanting to dismiss the feeling as paranoia, but too used to trusting himself to do so completely. However he refused to allow anything to distract him during these oh-so-important proceedings.

As the meeting opened, he began to address the assembly, confident that there was nothing which could upset any of his plots, when the doors were flung open with a bang.

He turned to face the intruder, fury etched in every line of his face and with every intention of putting the upstart in their place. But when he caught sight of just _who_ it was he'd started to berate, all the blood promptly drained from his face.

Tobirama-sensei stood in the doorway, arms crossed and wearing a fierce, disapproving scowl.

“So,” he said, using a low, dangerous voice which sent shivers down the backs of his former students – especially considering the disappointed expression he seemed to be levelling at each of them.

“Would anyone care to explain to me just _what, **exactly**_ you _idiots_ thought you were doing?” he demanded.

Danzo swallowed, suddenly feeling his sense of dread increase.

Something told him that this meeting would not go anything like he might have hoped. That, in fact, his old sensei would most decidedly not be happy with him; and he would have much to regret by the time the day was over. 

Never had he wanted to curse an Uchiha so badly as that moment. 


	2. ItaSasu Side Story AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A smutty ItaSasu Sidestory AU fic I wrote for Kinktober that goes with this; should anybody want to read it.

If anyone is interested, there's a smutty 3-shot AU to this called, "[Don't Touch](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27260977/chapters/66599086)" which I wrote for Kinktober.

Only the first chapter is posted so far; technically each chapter of it can be enjoyed as a separate stand-alone one-shot, but if you read all three of them there's a continuity and open-ended ending that makes it _technically_ able to be viewed as compliant with the rest of this fic. 

I'm not sure if I'm proud of it or not - on the one hand, I honestly think that I've done a pretty good job with it. On the other, is writing smutty incest really a talent I want to cultivate? 

* * *

Itachi teases Sasuke.

She really shouldn't have scoffed at the idea that he might have the ability to make someone come without touching them.

(This fic is a stand-alone; reading any of the rest of the series is unnecessary to understand this. All you need to know is that this Sasuke is trans-female, AMAB, and has not yet succeeded in creating a transition process. AU of "When You Make Plans, Fate Laughs".)


	3. Hiatus Ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Update schedule

Thank you all for commenting, subscribing, bookmarking, and leaving kudos!

When I came back to AO3 again and started looking over them it was humbling and overwhelming for me to see how much love my fics have been getting in spite of my absence.

(Seriously; I almost _cried_. You guys are _amazing!_ ) 

I'm sorry there haven't been any updates in so long; however I expect to have the next chapter of "The Spaces Between" finished and sent to my Beta before the end of the month. So it should go up sometime in early December. 

This particular story is the fourth reincarnation and will contain some spoilers for the previous fics; so it won't be updated until they're finished. However by March I should be updating the current two fairly frequently - hopefully at least once a week for each of them - so this one should start being updated in just a few more months. I intend to add a couple of short side-fics/AUs for each story in this series at some point; I've started posting one of the AUs for this already; I have another, longer one ( _without_ the ItaSasu) tentatively outlined as well. 

I'm really sorry this series has seemed abandoned for a while. I had a miscarriage and lost my will to write for a while. I didn't post anything about a hiatus; partly because it was very low on my list of priorities at the time, and partly because I didn't expect it to go on for so long. 

While I've recently started writing again, it took a bit for me to get over my hangups about writing this series - since I started it about a month before I got pregnant and worked on it throughout my pregnancy; the two concepts just felt very linked to my mind. So I started writing again in a totally different fandom at first; and have now ventured into a few AUs/side stories for this series to ease myself back into it. I'm currently working on the next chapter of TSB right now, and not experiencing any issues, so I can finally say that I'm doing good again. 

_That said;_ I _DO_ remember the plot and basic outline I had of each WIP. I remember all of the important details; if not the exact way I planned each scene/bit of dialogue to go. And I've discovered that while I've been dealing with RL problems; a lot of people have left comments complimenting my WIPs and asking me to continue them, or subscribing/bookmarking/leaving kudos. I also know how disappointing it is when a writer discontinues a story you're enjoying and looking forward to reading more of.

 _SO_ I _WILL DEFINITELY_ be continuing this story, along with all of my other WIPs.

I'm still very excited about each of the ideas behind my WIPs. However, even more than that, I really, _really hate_ leaving things unfinished.

(I'm also a bit of a praise-whore; and the more kudos and bookmarks and subscriptions and comments I get, the more motivated I am to write more, and write more often.)

Like I said; I intend to update this series again starting by the first week of December, after my newer WIPs are finished (Some short(3-4 chapters) MDZS/Untamed stories that got me back into writing again).

The update schedule for this series so far is this: 

December - 

The Spaces Between  
Heroes Are Over-Rated  
We Are Not Broken (TBS Side-story AU started back in April)  
How To Build Your Triad (HAOR Side-story/prequel)  
Don't Touch (E-rated WYMPFL Side-story AU)  
The Spaces Between

January - 

Heroes Are Over-Rated  
The Spaces Between  
We Are Not Broken (TBS Side-story AU started back in April)  
How To Build Your Triad (HAOR Side-story/prequel)  
Don't Touch (E-rated WYMPFL Side-story AU)  
The Spaces Between  
Heroes Are Over-Rated

I'll be posting a more detailed and extensive update schedule (IE: how many future chapters to expect when) in the End Notes of the next chapter of each fic. 

**Author's Note:**

> The themes/issues this fic deals with are: 
> 
> Gender Dysphoria - While the first story touched upon her experiences with gender dysphoria, she was not entirely male, and soon had the comfort of knowing her body was meant to be female if not for her father playing mad scientist. She was able to focus on the female side of being intersex and largely ignore the differences once she was living as female. She then spent the second largely in denial, before transitioning and pretending it never happened. In the third she was born female and spent it focusing on other issues. So this is the first life where she's actually going to be dealing with her gender dysphoria instead of simply denying reality to make it go away. Dealing with this is an important part of maintaining her mental health, and she has to do it here, where there is no way for her to transition that isn't an illusion, and she can't simply create a way herself in less than a decade or more of dedicated research and study. 
> 
> Obsession/Fixation - While she has honestly fallen in love with two different versions of Itachi, she's also allowed herself to become fixated on him in what could potentially become a very unhealthy way. This life is less about torturing her and more about forcing her to face up to her obsession, and accept that she can't regain control of her existance just by fixating on maintaining a romantic relationship with a single person and their various alternates throughout the multiverse. It does this by putting her in a situation where that person is still an important part of her life, but she never can or will have the relationship with them that she wants, and forcing her to deal. While an Itachi/Sasuke pairing may work in fanfiction, in reality incest is extremely unhealthy and this shows her dealing with her obsession with that understanding. 
> 
> Identity - One of the things that keeps causing her problems is that she's still clinging very hard to her original identity as being her "true" identity; which is a problem because it ignores everything she's done and gone through and the person she's become. She deals with the question of "Who am I?" and tries to accept that her experiences are adding to the person she is, rather than diminishing it. This also ties into the next theme below. 
> 
> Sexuality - Again, this was touched on the first story, but she mostly blamed the gender issues as the source of her problems and ignored it otherwise. In the second it was a non-issue due to involuntary enforced celibacy - though she was still grieving when she learned about the Vow, so she was mainly relieved she wouldn't have to struggle with guilt from moving on, and refused to acknowledge anything else. It was equally unproblematic in the third since she was closer to her original body chemistry. Here, she's actually forced to face the reality of her body chemistry changing in her new life and the effects it has on her sexuality. This is important because part of her original identity was as a highly sexual person; while Tobirama's DNA impacted her sex drive negatively in her first rebirth, she still had one even if she was technically Grey-A. My Uchiha Sasuke is almost always a sex-repulsed, aromantic-asexual - so having his body chemistry impacts her, and she needs to deal with the confusion and conflict from that. She needs to accept that sex isn't that important to who she is - that she can be herself without wanting it and that's okay. 
> 
> Alcoholism - She flirted with alcoholism a bit in her original life, but moved past it; in the first story she could just emphasize a bit with others because of her past. In the second, she was too depressed and traumatized to realise that she had crossed the line; while she cared deeply for her loved ones there she also spent most of that life either drinking or in denial. In the third she didn't have access to alcohol, so she had to learn to cope without it. In this life she becomes a full-blown child alcoholic, and is forced to recognize that she is Not Okay. She's forced to get help, and eventually acknowledge she needs it. 
> 
> Denial - CT has gotten very good at lying to herself about things that her mind refuses to deal with. While this has helped her cope with a lot of things she wouldn't have been able to deal with so well otherwise, she used to _notice_ that she was doing it. She knew she was lying to herself; she just chose to ignore it because she was afraid that forcing herself to accept reality would drive her stark raving mad. Eventually she doesn't even realise she's doing it. This breaks down a bit here and she's forced to relearn self-honesty. 
> 
> Trauma - She has gone through lots of trauma in every single one of her lives, and while she's dealt with some of it there's a lot more that she's been supressing, pushing down, to the side... eventually it's all going to come out. She has a lot of anger and pain to deal with.


End file.
